Not A Part of the Plan

At our house right now, it’s wedding season and planning baby’s very 1st birthday. The wedding is our 20 year-old daughter’s, and the baby is her son and our 1st grandson.  Titus is his name, and he is the apple of our eye. This beautiful baby is a perfect combination of his very strong-willed, driven, athletic, smart and powerful parents. Titus was a big surprise to us. He was definitely not in our 4 year plan of Emily running collegiate track. But today, this baby is a prize in our family and one of the stars of this blog.

Jason and I never dreamed we would be planning a wedding for our daughter with what would be an 18 month old. We had certainly learned enough before this point to understand “His ways were not our ways.” This, however, seemed to be much bigger – and that was our own fault. Releasing OUR plans and dreams for our children has proven to be a great endeavor. I really did not know that I was holding them hostage to what I thought their life was supposed to look like and be.

I discovered that I was clinging to Psalm 20:4, “May He give you the desire of your heart and make all your plans succeed.” This is a great verse, but I had completely manipulated it to fit what I wanted. You have to see the whole counsel of the word, such as in Psalm 94:11, “The Lord knows all human plans; he knows that they are futile.” Proverbs 19:21 says “Many are the plans in a person’s heart, but it is the Lord’s purpose that prevails.” He knows what is coming, and He holds an amazing promise of working all things together for good. These works will not likely be in our plan, but we can trust that they will be for good. He who promised is faithful!

The need to control is rooted in fear and trust does not co-exist with fear. Discovering that I wasn’t trusting God with the future of my family was a sobering and painful realization. He is so kind and such a gentleman. His repentance is a beautiful gift, and gifts are meant to be enjoyed. Parents don’t always know best, but the Father always does. Today, when I feel that old familiar feeling of fear creeping back up, I remind myself that it’s never worked for me. Fear is not friendly and harmless. Fear is paralyzing and destructive. Danny Silk says “the greatest gift we can give our children is to teach them to control themselves, not try to control them.” Train them up to manage their freedom, and love them unconditionally when they don’t do it well. The Father certainly does that with us.

We have to choose to no longer be afraid of our children’s mistakes, nor our own. “You have not been given a spirit of fear, but of power, love, and a sound mind.” Love must be my motivation in all things, not fear.

Our Titus turns 1 on April 17th, and we cannot wait to celebrate him. He is a 20 lb., dark headed, deep brown-eyed, physical and tangible reminder that God is able to do immeasurably more than we can think or imagine. His daddy, our future son in law, is such a good daddy, and is going to be a wonderful husband. Today we can say that we are grateful that His ways are higher than ours. We are so thankful that His thoughts, plans and purposes for us are far wiser, and far better than our own.

I have never seen my daughter more in love with Jesus or more determined to hear, seek and pursue Him. I’m so very proud of her. On her wedding day in October, we will celebrate this beautiful thing that He has made out of all of us. With confidence we know that this is definitely His plan!